Why Are Men Expected to Provide Husband Privileges While Women Withhold Wife Duties?

Why Are Men Expected to Provide Husband Privileges While Women Withhold Wife Duties?

Dating in America has become a contradictory maze of expectations. On one hand, women are told—and rightfully so—that no man is entitled to physical intimacy on the first date. They’re also encouraged to protect their value by not cooking for a man early on, labeling such acts as “wife duties.”

But here’s where it gets confusing: despite guarding these traditional “wife roles,” society still expects men to play the role of protector, provider, and emotional investor from the very beginning.

A man is often expected to call, text, and check in regularly—mirroring the behavior of a committed husband. He’s supposed to spend, plan, pursue, and perform… while knowing full well that the woman owes him nothing in return.

Worse, if he chooses to walk away or loses interest, some women feel entitled to an explanation, even if no serious commitment existed. It raises the question: if intimacy and emotional labor are off the table until a woman feels a man has “earned” them, why aren’t those same standards applied to men?

Why is a man expected to act like a husband to earn a chance to be treated like one?

The imbalance isn’t about whether one gender owes the other—it’s about fairness, mutual effort, and clarity. If both parties are protecting their energy and commitment, shouldn’t both also be cautious about the roles they assume early on?